Complex
by MorbidAesthetic
Summary: Lovino Vargas has never been as good as his brother. Feliciano has passed him in everything, and he feels like a stranger in his own house. In school he stands in the corners, where he thinks that no one can see him. He sometimes wonders if the cute Spanish exchange student ever sees him. Spamano


**A/N:** So this is 2nd Person POV, so when the story says you/your etc., it's referring to Lovino, the main character.

You ran for the ball, trying to catch up to the rest of your teammates on the field. Someone else scored, the assorted moms, dads, and occasional other relatives cheering. They clapped for the team they were rooting for, while the other team's fans just yelled encouragement.

You were seven years old.

Many seasons of soccer passed the same way, without you scoring once. Your teammates passed you in skill, growing up into competitive and travel soccer, but you just stayed in the Rec leagues, because you knew that if you weren't very good here, you would be plowed over there.

Then, three years later, Feliciano started playing soccer. He was a good player, unlike you. He scored at least two goals in his first game, unlike you. He was nice to his teammates, unlike you; he surpassed you in everything you had been trying to do for three years.

Your grandfather definitely paid attention. He always had, and had sat through your pitiful games for three years, six seasons of useless soccer that you were always terrible at. (And he only sat through them because Feliciano wanted to watch you play.)

After your brother surpassed you in soccer, he did many other things as well. He ended up in your art class, because he was past the others in his own grade, even though you were three years older than him.

Of course, he was blissfully unaware of the dejected attitude that you wore a lot of the time. But you did try to hide it. You knew he had no idea why you acted like you hated him most of the time, but you couldn't bring yourself to play nice.

His grades were also higher than yours. You did your work, but when it came to paying attention in class, that was another story. You just were so bored, but when it came to actual work, you were completely lost. You felt like Gilbert in his attention span; or lack thereof.

You could never pass him in anything, it seemed, anything. He was better at sports, school, art, music, he was even better at dealing with people. He was always surrounded by his friends, by girls, everyone. You always stood alone in the corner either with your phone or a book. In fifth grade, you were so happy that you could bring a book to lunch, instead of sitting alone and looking like a loser.

When people found out you had a brother, they would look at you and nearly scoff, you could see it in their eyes. They'd talk about you later, and you could only imagine what they said, because it wasn't like they ever told you anything. You never knew anything that happened until months after it actually happened, and you only heard about it by accident or in passing.

Life was uninteresting, and eventually you gave up on trying anymore. There was no point if he was just going to pass you in whatever you tried.

Of course, until one day, _he_ came along.

An exchange student. You heard he was from Spain, although he seemed able to speak the language fairly well. He'd probably been practicing. His name was Antonio, and he was one of the few people who ever even acknowledged you.

You refused to admit that you probably had a crush. It wasn't like his eyes always cut through you or whenever he smiled at you, your day was somehow better than usual. It wasn't like whenever he even said a simple _hello_ , you felt somehow better.

You so did not have a crush on the Spanish exchange student.

He rarely noticed you a lot of the time, as he was in the grade above you and you only really saw him in elective classes and the hallways. You desperately wanted to talk more, but you didn't, fearful that he would think nothing of you.

Until, one day, something happened.

"Hey, Lovino." Antonio came running up to you in the hallway, right before homeroom. You were probably going to be late, but it wouldn't matter if he actually talked to you today.

"Yeah?" You asked, turning to face him. Hugging your notebook to your chest, you put your cell phone in your jacket pocket.

"I was wondering, uh, if you, if you would like to go- go on a date Friday?" He was nervous, and his hands kept returning to each other, nearly twiddling his thumbs.

For a moment you were silent. You were so surprised that he could possibly like you back that you didn't answer for a moment, leaving Antonio looking hopeful. Your stomach felt like it had fallen through a pit.

Unfortunately, the bell rang at that exact moment, and he began to walk towards his homeroom, (which is on the other side of the hallway), with a slightly disappointed look on his face.

"Uh, wait. You're serious? This isn't a prank or anything?" You ask, and Antonio seems a bit surprised at the question.

"Of course I'm serious!" He says, and you blush.

"Then yeah, I will go on a date with you Friday." You finally give him an answer, even though the two of you are both late for homeroom now. He grins all the same, and you swear that his eyes are sparkling.

"Thanks, Lovi!" He says, "I'll see you in fourth!" He bounds off to god-knows-where, probably his homeroom.

"It's Lovino." You say absentmindedly and you realize that you have completely missed homeroom as the bell rings, giving the signal to get to first period. You quickly get moving, and the smile that's on your face almost feels foreign.

* * *

Friday seems to come way too soon. Your brother is helping you get ready, and for once, you don't treat him like you hate him. You think he notices, because Feliciano is happier than usual. He helps you pick out an outfit: a nice white shirt, a pair of black dress pants. You slip on shoes that you're pretty sure are about a decade old.

You think you look nice, but you're still unsure about the date. Feliciano assures you that you look amazing, and you just blow him off, (but he knows you mean well), grabbing your cell phone and waiting for Antonio to arrive.

He doesn't come. He's stood you up. You know that Feliciano feels bad for you, as he makes spaghetti for dinner while your grandfather is still at work. Tears are threatening to spill, but you refuse to let them fall.

"Dinner's ready, fratello!" Feliciano calls, and you move from the chair you've been sitting in for the past three hours to the kitchen counter, where he places a bowl of steaming noodles and marinara sauce in front of you.

"Thanks, Feli." You mutter, sullen and almost depressed after you've been stood up. He just nods in return.

Almost as soon as you start to eat, there's a knock at the door. Feliciano tells you to stay put, and nearly runs to answer the door. You hear his gasp before you turn to see who it is.

"Antonio?" You ask, and he's spilling apologies for being so late, that his brother got arrested and he couldn't get out of the house.

"Please Lovi, I know it's late, but I still would love to take you on that date I promised." He said, and you have no idea what to say or what to do. You turn to Feliciano, speechless, but he just smiles at you and takes your bowl from the counter.

You manage a weak scowl at him, but he just grins as you walk outside with him to his car. It's a bit chilly outside, but you don't mind. You just climb inside his car and the two of you drive to a fancy restaurant that you've been to. It's an Italian restaurant, and you almost wonder if Antonio did that on purpose, but then you push it to the back of your mind.

"It's not very polite to be late on the first date." You say, and he smiles at you sheepishly.

"Lo siento, Lovi. I really didn't want to be late, but I thought it was better late than never, right?" He laughs a bit at that, and you can't stop a small smile from coming to your face.

"I suppose that's true."

* * *

That night, you don't get home until almost three in the morning, but that's okay because your brother covered for you with your grandfather. You're exhausted, so you kick off your shoes and flop onto your bed, just lying there with a smile on your face.

You don't remember falling asleep, but soon Feliciano is shaking you, and sunlight is filling the room. Standing, you pull off your jacket that you apparently slept in, now all sweaty and sticky.

Feliciano looks like a kid promised chocolate by the way he's looking at you.

"What?" You say, a little on the defensive.

"How did your date go?" He asks, all smiles and looking genuinely interested.

"It went- well." You say, and you strip off your dressy clothes to put on jeans and a tee shirt. He smiles at you upon hearing your answer and pushes a waffle at your hands to try to get you to eat it for breakfast.

"Bella made them for breakfast. She's in the kitchen waiting for us." He said, pulling you along with him to the kitchen where the blonde is at the waffle maker. There's a bowl of batter sitting next to her and she's swirling it around with a wooden spoon. She smiled you and Feliciano as the two of you walked in.

"So I heard you got a date, Lovino!" She said, hugging you. You brush her off, opting instead to shove the waffle in your mouth. Bella just giggles, and watches you try to shove the entire thing into your mouth at once.

"Yeah, I did. So what." You say with a mouth full of waffle, muffling your voice.

"So what? So how did it go?"

"Good." You say, swallowing the waffle with some difficulty. Bella smiles, happy for you now that you've found someone to be happy with. You're sure that she remembers just as well as you do the days that you used to have a crush on her, back in grade school. She used to tease you, but she doesn't do it anymore.

"That's great, Lovino!" She says, hugging you again. You squirm a bit in her grasp, but she has an iron grip. After a few more minutes, she lets you go, and you eat the waffle she gives you.

Your grandfather comes into the kitchen, and waves to Bella, Feliciano, and you. He gives you a wink, and you're left wondering if he knows that you went on a date last night.

"So Lovino, I was told you went on a date last night! Who's the cute girl?" He asked, and you nearly groaned out loud. So he knew that you'd gone on a date, but he didn't know that it'd been with Antonio. Now you could make a decision. Either lie, or just tell him the truth and get it over and done with.

"Um, actually, I went with Antonio." You say, inwardly cringing and subconsciously tensing up for a blow.

"Oh, that boy that was over here yesterday? Good catch." He says nonchalantly, and you nearly choke on your waffle. You run the words over in your head again, making sure you heard him. It wasn't like you expected for him to kick you out or anything, you're just surprised that he took it in so easily. Bella laughs at the expression on your face, and Feliciano just smiles.

"Uh, thanks." You swallow the rest of the waffle, lest you choke on it again. Your grandfather gives you a strange look for a moment, before turning on the television and going back to attitude that you've been used for for about twelve years.

Bella puts the bowl into the kitchen sink, filling it with water so the batter won't dry and stick to the sides. She smiles at you once more and leaves the kitchen, dragging you and your brother along the hallway down to your bedroom.

"I want to hear more about this date, Lovino. You've been so sparse with the details." She said, grinning as you roll your 've barely opened your mouth when your grandfather's voice echoes down the hallway.

"Feliciano! The television is broken again!"

He gives the both of you a disappointed look, before leaving the room and heading out to the living room. You roll your eyes. It was _you_ who figured out how to fix the television. You were just overlooked in this house, so you told Feliciano how to do it because it was better than listening to your grandfather's complaining.

Bella sits down on the bed, crossing her legs. She smiles at you, and you wonder if she's going to crash Antonio's house later. The two of you wait for Feliciano to get get back, and then once he does, they both hassle you with questions.

"Details, details!" Bella says, as you give a vague answer to their questions.

"Why don't you just go ask Antonio if you're so interested?" You ask, and she shakes her head.

"I'm doing that later. I might just get Elizaveta here if you keep refusing me." She says, teasing with amusement. You give her a half-hearted glare.

"You wouldn't dare."

"Wouldn't I?"

You push her, and after you do it you feel a little better, and wonder if maybe you aren't useless or overlooked all of the time.

 **A/N:** So, I relate to this a little too much. I write in the perspective of the characters that I relate to the most.


End file.
